Gratitude
by Girl With Grey Eyes
Summary: A piece for Out of Lullabies and her story Home - fan piece for Jude. Enjoy!


This is a present for the dear Out of Lullabies, who writes the great Death Note fanfic _Home,_ one of my favourite stories. ^^ This is a piece about her character Jude, because I was low on juice for the spoof series and the plot bunnies were eating my soul. It's published on my fanfic site too, but since fanfiction does this, I chose to put it up here too.

Done on the concept of, 'if Jude came home early...' Slight hints of romance, but only if you squint.

Only Dani belongs to me in this - no Death Note characters, and no Jude. *cries*

* * *

I could see something was wrong with him the moment he stepped over the threshold.

It lay in the slope of his shoulders, the valley ground into his forehead. He greeted everyone cordially enough, but his mind was in plains far gone.

He went straight up to his room afterwards – had my alarm bells not already been ringing, they would be going berserk now. Had all been well, he would have headed straight to the kitchen for a late dinner, filling up on steaming mash and glowing steak pie.

The kitchen staff had already knocked together a meal for him out of the leftovers from dinner, so I just took that from them and told them I would take it up to his room. The stairs creaked softly as I followed his path.

Pausing in front of the door, I wondered if he would really want to see me. I eyed the plain white paint, flaking slightly at the very edge. Had Jude ever given any indication that he noticed me? Ever met my eyes, or touched hands?

But that didn't matter, I thought to myself, resolutely shaking my head. Jude needed me right now. More accurately, he needed _someone_ there.

I knocked softly and opened the door. Jude was sitting on his bed, legs up against his chest. He raised his head up from his knees as I entered, the lamp light spilling across his hair.

"Hey," He greeted me.

"Umm, hey. I just brought some food up for you…" I answered, feeling all awkward all of a sudden.

"Thanks." I handed him the dish the way you do with a wild animal, and returned back to where I was standing.

Jude played around with the mashed potato, then noticed I was still dithering by the door. He rolled his eyes, patting the space next to him. I sat down gingerly.

He swallowed his food, and looked at me, his eyes darkening. Should I wait to ask him, or…

"I came back today," he said, staring at his hands. So he would talk on his own.

"Really?" He nodded.

"I… didn't think that I would. That I would just get off the train, and walk away. But I came back." I saw how hard he was gripping the quilt.

"The only man who ever really cared for me is dead now," he continued. "Stabbed on the street. Maybe they're right, and it was my fault." I watched his internal struggle silently.

"But I want to catch people like that. That's why I didn't run away."

"Why would you do that? Why did you want to run away? We care about you here." I spoke softly.

He laughed bitterly. "No, you're scared of me here. Me and my stupid power."

"Say that again. Look in my eyes, and say that again."

And he looked up from under his lashes into my eyes, and suddenly he was in my arms crying against my chest, and my hand was stroking his hair and whispering soothing words in his ear –

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but he eventually pulled back, wiping his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. Boys would always be like that, I thought, smiling to myself – they wouldn't admit to crying.

"This doesn't change anything – you lot still don't like me," he said accusingly, rubbing his nose.

"Of course," I responded, halfway smiling. We were silent for a moment, and it was then I realised that my arm was still half around him. The atmosphere became suddenly Very Awkward.

"Umm… I'll… just… head…" I gestured vaguely to the door and got up carefully.

"Hey, Dani…"

I stopped and turned. "Yes?"

He smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

A bit angsty, maybe, but I felt he got off a little lightly in Laur's original piece. I considered putting Grace in instead of Dani, but Lauren assured me this was better.

Please comment, crit and fave! :D

GWGE


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